Busy, Busy, Busy!

It has been almost 2 months since I have written in this particular blog, but life has been extremely busy.  Trying to feel better, trying to be more active...all has taken up a lot of my writing time!

I have lost over 40 pounds since the end of February, due in part to the anti-inflamatory diet I have been on since the beginning of April, which you can read about in my other blog What's Eating Danielle. I am happy to have lost the weight, I still have a lot more to go, but it is a great start and am proud of myself!

I also started auditioning again.  Every time we go see a show, I remember what it was like being on stage, and I wanted to have that feeling again!  I have had three auditions so far for plays and one audition for an indie film.  They all went well, and am waiting on the outcome--I hate waiting!!  The first audition was for Pittsburgh Shakespeare in the Parks, Much Ado About Nothing.   I wasn't as prepared for my audition as I should have been (i.e. didn't have my monologues completely memorized) and I didn't get in.  I was not upset.  It was my first audition in a long time. I was proud of my self for going!  My second audition was for McCaffery Mysteries, Inc., a non-profit murder mystery dinner theater company who donates some of their profits to local charity organizations.  Hopefully I will be doing a show with them in September.  Lastly, I auditioned for Fairest, the Black Tale of Snow White with Rage of the Stage Players.  I have seen a few of their shows, and love the twisted fairytales!! My audition went very well, so hopefully I will hear a positive outcome soon!

The pain has not let up much, unfortunately.  I am scheduled to start a six week pain management program on 6/23 and hopefully will be back to work some time in August.I have been fighting with the short term disability company and have to appeal, so money has been extremely tight.  The doctors don;t want me to return to work until I have completed the pain management program, yet they fail to send in the disability paperwork--this whole process has been a nightmare!!! I am in a ton of pain and so stressed out!  I wish I felt better and was able to go back to work, but right now I can't, and my job does not have work from home or part time for people in my position, so I just will have to play the waiting game.

I pray that this pain management program will help ease the pain that I have been experiencing over the past few months.  In the almost 10 years I have had fibromyalgia, this is the worst that I have felt and I hope that I never have to go through this again!!

Calgon, Take Me Away!!!

I have been in severe pain the past few days, perhaps I over did it on the weekend, and now I am paying the price.   Tired, extreme pain, etc, etc, etc. What else is new?????  On the bright side, I just started seeing a holistic health counselor, which you can read about in my other blog What's Eating Danielle,  who put me on an anti-inflammatory diet, which I started today. Hopefully everything I have been doing thus far, and will continue to do, along with this new diet, continued exercise and additional measures that will be recommended after my evaluations with the pain clinic, will get my body back on track and I can manager the fibromyalgia like I was before this setback.

Healing the Mind, Helping the Body!

I have had a great few days!!! Though still in a lot of pain, my mental attitude has improved significantly and allowed me to have some fun finally, after almost two months of misery!

Friday night, I went out with my husband for a bit to a Four Square event.  He is very social media and tech savvy and it is important for us to support each other's very different interests.  We did not stay very long because there were bad storms passing through, but at least we got out of the house for a little while!

Saturday we spent the day with my family with my parents, grandmother and 3 year old nephew Giovanni, who we love very much!! He is so smart, energetic, and just brightens up our lives!! Chris and I hope to have a child in the next few years, once we get our health and finances in order, but if it is not in the cards, at least we already have a wonderful little boy to spoil!! After that, I went home and passed out for the night while Chris went to the movies with his best friend.

Today Chris and I went our separate ways-he to watch the penguins with his friends and I to a birthday celebration with my friends.  Our plan was to originally go to a bit of both together, but since  I am not a huge sports fan and he did not know most of the people at the party,  we went to our own events and enjoyed ourselves immensely!

I know that my recent illness has affected our marriage.  I am irritable and in extreme pain.  My husband is loving, caring, and supportive, but does not understand my illness. He felt bad to leave me to go out with friends and I have had to yell at him to make him go out. As a person who has lived with this illness for almost 10 years, and lived alone for 5 years,  I am not used to people wanting to constantly  take care of me. I know its a part of marriage that I need to get used to, a partnership, but I have always been financially and socially independent.  I married my husband because I love him and because we have been through a lot together, not to have him take care of me!  This issue however for another time....

All in all, fabulous weekend!!  Meeting with the nutritionist tomorrow and started a new blog What's Eating Danielle to track the nutrition part of the journey.

You Are What You Eat

I had a very wonderful meeting today with a Holistic Health Counselor.  I found her company,  Full Well , through a Facebook link.  I chose to meet with her, because as I am on this journey to a happier, healthier life, I know that my eating habits are not the best.  I want to lose weight, have more energy, take control of my life back from the fibromyalgia, and PCOS that has plagued me for years!

Leah has also struggled with the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue issues, so I am interested to learn from her how she has healed herself through nutrition and lifestyle changes. I know that changing established routines and ways of eating may be hard at first.  But I am ready to face this challenge head on!  This time that I have had off, I have begun to take better care of myself, to listen to my body, and lost 24 pounds in the process, but that is just the first step.

I am hoping to never have another relapse like this again! I have learned so much about myself, and I am learning more every day.  My mind is open to new possibilities, and hopefully a healthier, happier new me will be debuting to the world within the next few months!!

If I Were...

Borrowed from fellow blogger F B:

If I Were:

If I were a month I would be August.

If I were a day I would be Friday.

If I were a time of day I would be 5 PM.

If I were a font I would be Playbill.

If I were a sea animal I would be a dolphin.

If I were a direction I would be Southwest.

If I were a piece of furniture I would be a leopard chaise lounge.

If I were a liquid I would be a glass of Riesling or a Pomegranate Martini.

If I were a gemstone I would be Aquamarine.

If I were a tree I would be a Mighty Oak.

If I were a writing tool I would be a gel pen.

If I were a flower I would be a bright Gerber daisy.

If I were an element of weather I would be a cooling rain on a hot summer day.

If I were a musical instrument I would be a trombone.

If I were a color I would be burnt orange.

If I were an emotion I would be contentment.

If I were a fruit I would be a pomegranate.

If I were a sound I would be merriment.

If I were an element I would be Lithium.

If I were a car I would be classic.

If I were a food I would be a dark chocolate cupcake.

If I were a place I would be Disney World.

If I were a material I would be wool.

If I were a taste I would be zesty.

If I were a scent I would be cotton candy.

If I were a body part I would be your voice.

If I were a song I would be sung by Ani DiFranco

If I were a bird I would be a sparrow.

If I were a gift I would be personalized.

If I were a city I would be Pittsburgh.

If I were a door I would be open.

If I were a pair of shoes I would be comfortable, flat and funky.

If I were a poem I would be Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. What would you be?

A Glimmer of Hope

In my quest to return to my normal way of life, I have been doing everything imaginable to try to get better.  Water Aerobics, Chiropractic, Massage, Therapy, you name it, I am doing it!  Along with resting a lot, eating right and trying to move around as much as possible, I hope these positive changes will make a difference in the way that I feel!!

Today, I found out that I am severely Vitamin D deficient, and that possibly could be contributing to my increased pain and fatigue I have been experiencing the past few months.  My doctor prescribed me 50,000 IU of Vitamin D for the next 8 weeks, so hopefully that will get my levels where they should be, I will have more energy and less pain, as long as I continue everything else that I am doing as well.  

Hopefully this new information will be key on the road to recovery and getting my life back so that I can focus on my goals again!

I Love My Husband!!!

Our first 7 months of marriage have been filled with many ups and downs, mainly because of me.  I thank my husband for standing by me through everything.  In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, as long as we both shall live!

To My Husband:

• I love your beautiful blue eyes and the way you look at me
• I love your quiet and unassuming manner
• I love the way that you are always trying to clam me down and get me to relax
• I love how laid back and easy going you are
• Thank you for being there for the good and bad times
• Though this is a rough patch, I am confident things will get better, I will get better soon
• I love you with all of my heart!

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

— Marilyn Monroe